Wha'd you say?

The kids were taking a bath when I overheard Porter say "Sorry if anyone smells something bad, cause I had a little bit of gas." Bennett said "I don't smell anything" and Porter replied "Go under the water". Bennett did and when he came up Porter asked "Did you smell anything?"

The kids were sticking their heads under the water in the bathtub and holding their breaths. Bennett burst out of the water and exclaimed "IT'S PITCH WHITE DOWN THERE!"

Porter "Mom, what's flirting?"
Me "Oh, flirting is like being especially nice to someone. Why, where did you hear that word?"
Porter "Nowhere" (Being evasive)
Me "Well, you must have heard it somewhere" (Being persistent)
Porter (after a fair amount of prying whispered in my ear) "Noah said I'm flirting with Stephanie."

Bennett "Ender you can't get my bone puzzle (which is actual chicken bones he's collected in a baby food container) you cork it (If Bennett is mad at you he calls you a "Cork it")." Then after a brief pause "Actually your not a cork it Ender."

Porter "I wish there was a job where I could just look at maps all day."
Me "I think there is, like maybe a trip planner."
Maya (very enthusiastically) "OR A TOURIST!"

As Bennett and I left the store we spotted a bird on the roof tweeting and flapping his wings. I pointed to him and asked Bennett if he saw him. He said "Yes, it's a chirpling." I asked if a chirpling was a baby bird and he said, "I don't know, I'm not a bird expert, I'm a storm trooper expert!"

Bennett and I were making a craft and listening to Weird Al's White and Nerdy when Bennett looked over at me and said "My tongue is dancing in my mouth so you can't see".

Bennett "Abby told me that if you break your ear drum you can't hear."
Me "No, Porter busted his ear drum but he can still hear."
Bennett "I heard you broke your ear drum."
Me "No I didn't."
Bennett "But when Miles was screaming you said it broke your ear drum."

After a rain storm Miles went outside to find a worm on our porch. He pointed and yelled "A Snake!" then he jumped back and said "That's creepy".

Bennett- "I think play doh tastes salty (pause). Is that how they make it, with salt and mashed potatoes?"

The other night I was giving Miles a bath when he tooted in the bathtub.  I gasped in surprise and teased him about it.  He quickly tooted again and when I said "MILES!'  He said "Say Jeffery Elmer".  He wanted me to call him by his full name.  Now anytime he does something onrey he'll say "Say Jeffery Elmer!"  He's even gone as far as calling the other kids by their first name then inserting his middle and last name onto it.  Maya Jeffery Elmer!

The kids were laying in bed talking before bed when I overheard Porter say "I always wanted a little ice cream truck I could drive around". Then he began singing "Nar Nar Nar Nar Nar Nar Nar Nar" (to the tune of Pop Goes The Weasel).

Miles is such a funny talker right now because he does hand jestures along with his words to help us understand. Some of our favorites are when Maya poked herself in the eye and started crying he said "Maya poke eye waahhh" (while poking himself in the eye and tilting his head from side to side) and when he told the man at Sam's Club "I get pizza (holding one hand out palm up) on a plate (flopping the other hand onto the first like a slice of pizza sitting on a plate)".

Maya "Mom, I'm kind of a scardy cat because I'm kind of scared of some things like lice and black holes."

I served tacos with black beans for dinner and as I rushed around looking for Porters scout shirt and Bennett complained about not liking beans Maya said "Hey mom I saw this commercial for this medicine and if you take it before you eat beans you will only get a little gassy".

Porter came into the toy room as I was cleaning it and said "Mom, Bennett has these things on his hands and he is saying they are receiving gloves". I walked over to find Bennett with each of his hands shoved into a condom.

Me "Bennett would you say our prayer?"
Bennett "Well, I kind of have dribbley eyes so that's why I can't do it"

Bennett "You're super pretty mom."
Me "You're super handsome"
Bennett "No I'm not. Handsome means you wear a bow tie. I'm super cool."

As Casey read to the kids before bed, he read about a little girl who went to live with a fancy lady and the lady got the girl a tutor. Bennett giggled and every time Casey read the word tutor Bennett would say "TOOTER" and laugh. To make matters even worse the fancy lady had a BUTler also!

The kids and I had been looking over a list of local activities for kids and talking about the activities they might be interested in when Porter said "Mom, you should go to a class where they massage your feet." I told him I thought I'd like that and he said "And you could put pickles on your eyes!"

Bennett (who was supposed to be going to sleep) came into my room and I automatically said "No, go to bed." then he said "But...I want a song called Spiderman.". I again said "No, go to bed." He started walking off then peeked his head around the corner and said "And you're mean."

Miles saw a man with a cigarette hanging out of him mouth, and thinking it was a sucker stick, he started frantically pointing and yelling "sucker"!

Bennett "A local kid kicked me in the but last week, I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek."
"I'm just so white an nerdy, look at me, I'm white and nerdy."
These were both from the same day, I think someone has been listening to too much Weird Al.

Bennett walked into the bathroom to find Casey soaking in the big bathtub. He scrunched up his shoulders, turned up his palms, and in a very high voice said "WHAT, A PARENT TAKING A BATH?" He then proceeded to go into the bedrooms and tell all the other kids.

Porter was playing with a LEGO man and Maya was playing with a doll when I overheard the conversation the toys were having :
Porter "My name's uncle Fred, but they also call me Arnold"
Maya "Why do they call you Arnold?"
Porter "Because I like to go to McDonald's and they have a guy named Arnold there."
Maya "They also have a guy named Ronald"
Porter "Oh yeah, Ronald, that's my name."

Bennett telling me about his bad bream: "It was about something was trying to eat me and it had a strong beak."

Maya "Torches? Aren't torches for parades where people go to get something?"
Porter "You mean mobs?"
Maya "Yeah, mobs."

While watching a Mickey Mouse cartoon in the back of the car we heard Bennett say "That's not funny, Donald" in a rather menacing voice.