Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Ain't it the truth (poor Bennett)

My friend Elaine e-mailed me this today (probably because she thought "Ain't it the truth" while thinking of the way I am with my three children) Elaine only has one child but hangs out with me none the less and does her best to try to pretend I'm not crazy!

1st baby:You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby:You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? ______________________________________________________
Worries:1st baby:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby:You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
1st baby:You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby:You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
Even though it's 'Oh so true' he is still a pretty happy little guy!


Sarah Harward said...

He is SOOO CUTE!! I love the one about 'Boys can wear pink, can't they?' That one is oh so true!!

Doug and Mallena said... it bad that I started doing most of the 3rd baby stuff with baby number 2?

Peggy and Jeff said...

Oh so true!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE IT!!! You are hilarious! SO creative...and SO true!

The Molen's said...

True indeed! I like this....and I agree with Mallena, I am getting baby # 3 out all on the second.....oh well.