Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Ain't it the truth (poor Bennett)


My friend Elaine e-mailed me this today (probably because she thought "Ain't it the truth" while thinking of the way I am with my three children) Elaine only has one child but hangs out with me none the less and does her best to try to pretend I'm not crazy!


BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby:You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby:You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? ______________________________________________________
Worries:1st baby:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby:You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_______________________________________________________
Activities:
1st baby:You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
______________________________________________________
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby:You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
_____________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
Even though it's 'Oh so true' he is still a pretty happy little guy!

5 comments:

Sarah Harward said...

He is SOOO CUTE!! I love the one about 'Boys can wear pink, can't they?' That one is oh so true!!

Doug and Mallena said...

Uh...is it bad that I started doing most of the 3rd baby stuff with baby number 2?

Peggy and Jeff said...

Oh so true!

Melissa Tate said...

I LOVE IT!!! You are hilarious! SO creative...and SO true!

The Molen's said...

True indeed! I like this....and I agree with Mallena, I am getting baby # 3 out all on the second.....oh well.