Saturday, July 30, 2011


Two nights ago, one of the kids, Bennett I think, had a big wad of gum he was chewing on before bed. Remembering from my childhood when I was about his age and fell asleep with gum in my hair and having my mom rub generous amounts of peanut butter in my hair to get it out, I made him spit it out. He was throwing a fit about it so I told him he could continue chewing on it tomorrow if he went to bed without any further complaints, which he did. I set the gum on the desk by my bed and went to sleep.

In the dark hours of the morning, I awoke feeling my arm hairs pulled out of my skin as I shifted in bed. Half dead, I felt around trying to figure who or what was sticking me to the sheets and all up and down my arm were little strings of gum wrapped like a web to my skin and the bed. Laying next to me was Miles our soon to be 2 yr. old. who was pulling the wad of gum out of his mouth and dropping strings of masticated Juicy Fruit all over the bed. I had to reach into his mouth and pull out the gum and then begin rolling all the gum strings back into their mother gumball. As I showered for the day, I kept finding little rogue gumlettes all over my body. At breakfast we had a stern lecture on the new "No Gum...Ever" policy ratified into law earlier that morning by the parental majority, but what sealed the deal was Amanda brushing her hair out and finding the offending wad snuggly nestled in her locks. Pressed for time trying to get Dad to work and Porter to Scout Camp, she took one for the team and forwent the more laborious peanut-butter method for the quick and effective, cut-your-hair-out-method and got us all to work on time. Rigorous screening procedures have been put into effect to apprehend any and all children with said contraband to ensure that no more hair is lost.


Kayli said...

There is never gum allowed at our house. Ever. If they are given gum at parties or on Halloween or anything it is thrown away. This is an example of why.